Image Source: The Conscious Leadership Group (2023) Locating Yourself - A Key to Conscious Leadership
Emergency & Emergence
Remember when nearly everyone stayed home in isolated bubbles? Of course, you remember. There was talk about how great it was to be done with 2020, and then we were relieved to kick 2021 to the curb, and then in 2022 more and more people either had been vaccinated against Covid-19 or they had caught it, or both. The world started to shift gradually away from social-distancing, towards something new. We will likely never
go back to the way things were before March
2020. But human societies are slowing emerging from the ashes of our collective trauma and loss that was a global pandemic.
When I started working at the Taylor Institute for Teaching and Learning (TI), I had been working on my Ph.D. research and writing entirely online for nearly two years. A basement office – infested with massive black spiders – in my graduate student rental apartment became the new normal for all my work-related interactions. At the start of my contract with the TI, I was working remotely from that same basement office in Edmonton. When I moved to Calgary and started working at the TI offices in-person, I wasn’t really prepared for what it would mean to “return to the office.” I joined the TI in a hybrid work rhythm, usually going into the office on campus three-days per week, and working remotely two-days. I heard colleagues talk about being ‘a Covid-hire,’ meaning they started their jobs when working entirely online was required. I suppose I was a kind of post-Covid-hire, since the hybrid option was available to me from the start of my contract. I was actually really excited about returning to in-person work, but because of the hybrid format, some days I would be at the office and not see anyone else, in person, all day. Our hybrid schedules didn’t always bring us together.
Learning about Change
In the midst of this transitional time in the world, and the transition in my life, from full-time doctoral student back to full-time educational developer, I was unprepared for the lessons about change that I would learn. Reflecting on the experience now, I understand the 2022-2023 academic year as a time of transition and significant change, directly on the heels of two years of massive changes throughout the world. For a while, I remained in the mindset that we are still in a pandemic. I didn’t think of us as emerging out of the pandemic, but that is what we have been doing for nearly a year now. And this gradual transition seems to be ongoing, for now. Through this time, I have been thinking deeply about the middle space, the in-between, the can’t-quite-put-my-finger-on-it liminal feeling of being in transition. This is the feeling of being in the midst of slow change.
Sometimes, this transitional year - in-the-midst of unknown and uncertain changes - has triggered anxiety in me, as I wonder what is coming next and where it will lead me. But, I’ve been working to manage my anxiety and prioritize my mental health for a number of years now. And my efforts have been paying off. I still experience stress, however, as I think about this year in terms of transition out of the pandemic, I can take a wider lens perspective. To adjust my perspective, I acknowledge the fight-flight-freeze response in my brain, and then I reframe my response. This year of transition is just that, a year in which humanity is gradually emerging towards something new. Although we may not know exactly where we are heading, I can choose optimism and curiosity in this transitional time. I can look to this time of ambiguity and uncertainty for the possibilities that it holds.
Along with a collective, societal, global emergence from the pandemic, I am also in the transitional time of emerging from my doctoral studies, building upon a pre-existing career in educational development and academia, and creating something new in my professional life. I don’t know where I will go next, at the end of my contract with the TI, but I see my life and work heading in an emergent direction, full of possibility, and, while that can be anxiety-inducing, it is also exciting! What an opportunity to learn and grow, to continue in this journey of becoming, in the midst of all the stresses and changes that are beyond my control, in the midst of all the wonderment that promises renewal, in the midst of embracing where I am, at this point in time. This is a state of being present.
Above and Below the Line
Recently, the TI’s Senior Director, Dr. Natasha Kenny shared with us a video by The Conscious Leadership Group, that asks the questions: Where am I? Am I below the line or above the line (The Conscious Leadership Group, 2023)? As described in the video, below the line, the human brain is in fight-flight-freeze mode, responding to perceived threats and preparing for potential threats. This below the line way of being is defensive, guarded, and competitive, wants to be in control, and is easily overwhelmed by complex situations. It’s natural to be below the line some of the time. Human brains are wired for survival and self-preservation; as a species, we evolved from a time when we were literally under threat most of the time. But this mindset does not serve us well now, especially as we emerge from what was a literal threat to life, the Covid-19 pandemic.
I am working to reframe my responses to complexity and challenges in life. This is a practice in re-training my brain. I want to develop neural pathways that see the possibilities and opportunities in the difficult and complex situations that arise in my life, and in our world. I want to move my responses above the line, so that I am open, curious, and committed to learning, so that I am playful, and can hold up many realities and perspectives as valid and worthy, rather than competing and conflictual. Paradoxically, this reframing goal means problematizing the very binaries that are built into the “below the line – above the line” theory and making space for a both-and way of thinking and being.
As I work on developing these new habits of my mind, rather than making my interactions with the world about being right, about defending my position, or about winning, I want to interact with the world from a place of curiosity and play, in which I can be fully myself, and support others to be fully themselves. After all, it’s not a zero-sum game. We can all thrive, contribute, and grow. There is enough for all of us (Schmidt, 2023).
References
Schmidt, J. (2023). Personal communication with Jalissa Schmidt. Online Video Chat. City University in Canada. April 27, 2023.
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